Five people to avoid at the library

And the list-style comedy is back! If you’ve ever visited a library, you probably don’t need me to tell you that other readers can affect your experience. Whether you are gathering research, cramming for an exam, or just enjoying a good book, certain people excel at distracting you from your work. Below are five people to avoid at the library, inspired by a week spent in the library during finals. Feel free to add people you’ve encountered in the comments section below.

The Socialite

It there’s one thing everybody can agree on, it’s that you’re not supposed to talk in the library. These buildings are shrines to the worship of silence. The socialite, it seems, did not get the message. Difficult to spot before it’s too late, the socialite makes himself apparent when he pulls out his cell phone and proceeds to talk as loud as humanly possible. Hoping to finish that paper by the end of the night? Good luck. He has a whole list of people to call, and he made sure to bring his phone charger. Some people have purportedly witnessed two socialites together at the same library. Those who have escaped with their sanity report that the chatter is deafening.

“Yeah, everyone in here is working really hard…no, it’s fine, I can talk.”

“Yeah, everyone in here is working really hard…no, it’s fine, I can talk.”

The Diner

Remember when libraries made you eat your food outside? Even back then you could find one of these guys stealthily munching away. A menace to the studious reader, the diner confuses the library with a dining room. As soon as he sits down, out comes a backpack-full of drinks and snacks. Not just any food, too—these sandwiches and cookies smell so good that nobody in the room will be able to finish a paragraph. The diner wants everyone to know how good his food is as well. Be prepared for an onslaught of crunching, slurping, cracking, and crinkling. Once he has finished his food, he will either fall asleep or leave the library without having opened a book. He then presumably goes to a restaurant and reads.

“Oh man, that was a hard five minutes of studying. NOW WATCH ME EAT THIS APPLE!”

“Oh man, that was a hard five minutes of studying. NOW WATCH ME EAT THIS APPLE!”

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