With the annual biggest entertainment release of all time slated for next Tuesday, there’s something I need to get off my chest: I hate Call of Duty. Yes, it has defined the modern shooter. Yes, it has revolutionized multiplayer in video games. Even so, the idea of purchasing Black Ops 2 (COD 9, for those of you who have been counting) seems seriously unappealing. Here is why I can’t stand the best-selling game franchise of all time. Agree? Disagree? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
It’s the same game. Every. Time.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare was amazing. The atmosphere, gameplay, and progressive multiplayer structure introduced gamers to a new world of strategy and competition. But what about its sequel? Other than reverting to the WWII setting and throwing a few tanks into the mix, it offered an identical experience. This is what drives me crazy about Call of Duty—each iteration contains the exact same game. Sure, the developers throw in new weapons or killstreaks here and there, but the structure and gameplay remain unchanged. I loved the first Modern Warfare for its innovative approach to online multiplayer. It’s been five years since that game came out. Isn’t it time the developers build on the formula?
Modern Warfare 1? 2? 3?
Let me queue you in on a secret: I love video games. They allow us to escape to an alternate reality free from the stresses of our daily lives. But did you know that all those hours spent in front of the screen may have taught you principles incompatible with the actual world? Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned from video games. Add your own in the comments section below!
Just duck behind cover and your head will repair itself
We’ve all been there: you’re innocently running across the map in Call of Duty when somebody jumps out from around the corner and hits you with–no, not one–three shotgun blasts. Your vision goes blurry, and in the corner of your eyes you see blood. Panting, you dive behind the rusted body of a car, holding on to your fraying thread of life. Then, all of a sudden, your sight starts to clear. Your heartbeat returns to normal, and the red in your peripheral vision disappears. Just moments after taking a buckshot to the eye you spring out from cover and rejoin the action without so much as a scratch. This can only mean one thing: no matter how much bodily damage we sustain, we will automatically heal ourselves! We are invincible! Now, if you give me a minute, I’m going to go try out those makeshift wings I have in the attic…
“Oh my gosh, this is incredible! I can’t believe this is actually happening! Good thing I’ll always land on my feet, right?”