One year ago I published my initial study on the coming bunny apocalypse. The culmination of years of work, it proved these balls of fluff are out to get us. Furthermore, my research correctly predicted the coming Human-Bunny Clash of 2014. These creatures want blood—and that’s just the beginning.
My friends, the time is neigh.
We must rise up and slaughter these puffy menaces or face utter elimination. As I have said before, one cabbage patch here and there goes unnoticed, but just wait until these puffballs develop nuclear weapons. Newspapers have spotted large congregations eating grass outside, likely scheming world domination. And their staggering reproduction can only mean one thing: they prepare for war.
I fear my work has gone unnoticed, thus I have spent the last twelve months scouring the depths modern knowledge for proof. It is high time I show you the scientific method in action, so take note of what you see. Below are a series of photographs taken by undercover agents. Understand that the identities of these exceptional furballs must remain classified. Far too many agents lost their lives during the last WikiLeaks scandal (damn you, Julian Assange!).
Without further ado, here is undeniable, scientific proof of the furballs’ bloodlust. As for your caring blogger, I sense the coming storm. I will retreat to my lab in the desert to wait out the war. For all I know, you could all be gone the next time I see sunlight. No matter now. I have made my bunny-fur bed, and now I will sleep in it. Farewell, friends. May you stay safe from the cottontail’s gaze.
Will you join the resistance? Sign up by hitting that subscribe button. As always, check me out on Twitter and Facebook, where I spread knowledge of the bunny atrocities. Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to subscribe for new content every Wednesday and to keep those conniving bastards in check. IT’S FREE!
Comment question of the week
Is there any hope? Or are you a yellow-bellied bunny-sympathizer?
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