The five craziest stories of 2012

The year 2012 has come and passed, another page in the volumes of history. Before jumping into 2013, let’s take a moment to look back on the year and some of its most mind-boggling headlines. Some are truly amazing, while others make us scratch out heads in wonder. Please share stories you can think of in the comments section below. Happy New Year! Don’t forget to check out Part II!

5. North Korea discovers unicorns

Unicorns are real, and they lived in North Korea. At least that’s what the country’s state-run media wants you to think. On December 3, the secretive dictatorship announced to the world that its archeologists had uncovered what they believed to be an ancient unicorn lair. The cave, which sits two-hundred meters outside the capital city of Pyongyang, is reported to be the home of the unicorn ridden by ancient ruler King Tongmyong, a popular figure in Korean folklore. Even more amazing is that the archeologists located the cave by stumbling upon a rectangular rock inscribed with the words “Unicorn Lair.” Though most critics dismiss the discovery as an attempt to legitimize young leader Kim Jong Un, many twelve-year-old girls insist it is real. After all, this is not the strangest thing we have heard out of North Korea.

Dear Unicorn will be the new Secretary of Sparkles and Rainbows.

Dear Unicorn will be the new Secretary of Sparkles and Rainbows.

4. Fifty Shades of Grey tops becomes a New York Times Bestseller

Was 2012 the year of mommy-porn? Judging by the bestseller lists, yes. Popular among housewives who have not discovered the internet, this erotic novel took the literary world by storm. The trilogy found its way into millions of homes, most likely hidden behind mom’s nightstand. Widely criticized for their lack of literary merit, the novels (i.e. soft-core pornography) offered many mothers the excitement (i.e. crazed sex scenes) missing from their lives. Fifty Shades of Grey topped the New York Times Bestseller list in March, and the trilogy nabbed four of the top ten spots on Amazon’s Bestsellers of 2012, causing writers across the globe to cry. Writer E L James plans to publish more novels in the coming year, which will reveal how large the mommy-porn market really is.

Who ever thought pornography would be so popular?

Who ever thought pornography would be so popular?

3. Apple Maps bombs on day one

If there’s one company that just gets it, it’s Apple. These guys know what consumers want and how to make it. That’s why the fiasco surrounding Apple Maps came as such a shock. Pegged as the company’s response to Google Maps, the app promised to redefine the navigation experience on the iPhone. Within hours of its release, however, it was clear the tech giant had failed. Lambasted by critics for its massive inaccuracies, Apple’s offering simply failed to live up to the product it was meant to replace. It’s geography was so erroneous that Australian police labeled the app as “life-threatening” after it told travelers a city of thirty-thousand people was in the middle of the Outback. The debacle culminated in a rare apology from Apple, the dismissal of a top executive, and the reappearance of Google Maps on the App Store. In a battle of giants, Google came out on top.

“Hmm...it says the Starbucks should be right here…”

“Hmm…it says Starbucks should be right here…”

2. Gangnam Style

Who knew that a man pretending to ride a horse could become an international sensation? Korean rapper PSY’s smash hit, “Gangnam Style,” topped music charts across the globe and propelled him to instant stardom. The song, which ridicules Seoul’s upscale Gangnam district, appealed to fans with its catchy rhythm and PSY’s unusual dance moves. Fans organized flash mobs in cities all over the world, some sporting over twenty-thousand participants. As of the end of the year, many political figures have attempted the dance as well, including Prime Minister David Cameron and President Barack Obama. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon went so far as to describe the song as “a force for world peace.” In December, the song’s music video became the first YouTube clip to reach one billion views, solidifying its place in internet history. Oppa Gangnam Style!

1. Curiosity lands on Mars

On August 6, NASA’s Curiosity rover landed on Mars, completing its eight month, three-hundred-fifty-million mile journey through the solar system. A marvel of physics and engineering, the rover touched down on the planet without a hitch, spurring international celebration. Curiosity wasted no time in starting its mission, getting to work examining the Martian climate and geology and exploring the surface for signs of water and life. Aside from confirming that Martians exist and are out to destroy us, the rover has sent back many images of the Red Planet, some suggesting the earlier presence of “vigorously” flowing water. It is also measuring levels of radiation inside the spacecraft and on the planet’s surface, key factors in considering possible manned trips to Mars. The mission will help us learn about the planet, our solar system, and possibly the future of the Earth.

The first-ever color image of the Martian landscape taken by Curiosity (the image is blurry because dust clouded the removable lens cover during the descent). Future expeditions will seek to confirm that the planet is hot and red.

The first-ever color image of the Martian landscape taken by Curiosity (the image is blurry because dust clouded the removable lens cover during the descent). Future expeditions will seek to confirm that the planet is hot and red.

A quick thank you!

And lastly, Happy New Year to all of you who have made The Weekly Show possible. When I started this blog, I never imagined that so many people would like it, let alone read it. Thank you for your thoughts and feedback and for sharing your favorite posts with friends. You guys are the best! Here’s to a fantastic 2013!

Ratchet7764

So what do you think? Are there any crazy stories you remember? Let me know in the comments section below! As always, please like, share, or reblog this post if you enjoy it. Be sure to check me out on Twitter and Facebook as well. Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to subscribe for new content every Wednesday! Now go check out Part II!

Click here to read last week’s post: Five People to Avoid at the Library!

 

Comment question of the week

What’s the craziest thing you’ll remember from 2012?

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